Thursday, March 29, 2012


Today was... interesting.

I went to see Zexion. I know, I know. It was stupid. It was a coward's way out. I'm an abomination. Yadda yadda yadda.

He had the bottle ready when I got there. The ink. If I drank it, I wouldn't be a hybrid anymore. I'd be pure. Zexion smiled as he lifted the bottle and undid the cap. He was standing in the middle of his dorm.

I was facing him. Facing the window behind him. And just as Zexion pulled the cap off, I saw Jester.

Zexion's dorm is on the second floor of his building. Jester shouldn't have been standing out there, but he was. And he was holding something. A shoebox.

He kicked at the window, shattering the glass. Zexion turned to face the noise just as Jester threw the shoebox. By pure instinct, I jumped backward, away from it. Zexion was too slow. It caught him square in the face and the...

I shit you not. The shoebox was full of frogs.

Small, brightly colored frogs.

It took a second for my brain to register what exactly they were: Poison Dart Frogs.

That fucking maniac threw a box of poison dart frogs at us.

I stepped back again and felt myself up against the door. Zexion slowly turned to look at me, an expression of complete shock on his face. The bottle fell from his grip and shattered on the floor. And then Zexion collapsed. I saw a frog hop out of his mouth. One of the golden ones.

I got out of there as fast as I could. Have you ever tried to explain to authorities that someone has released a bunch of potentially lethal frogs into a confined space? It's... an experience. Kind of comical now that I think about it. I guess that's why he calls himself "Jester."

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Turns out Zexion is insane.

I met him in the quad. Below is my best attempt to put recreate how our conversation went:

Axel: "Hey."

Zexion: "You came."

A: "What's this about?"

Z: "Just wanted to see how you were holding up. Being a hybrid and all."

A: "...So you've read my blog."

Z: "I have."

A: "How long have you known?"

Z: "[Roxas] told me a while ago. I've known all about it for weeks. Remember that night Shelby got real drunk, and me and [Roxas] had to take her home?"

I didn't like where this conversation was going. "Yeah?"

Z: "I kept watch. He impregnated her. Different genders in regards to the Camper and Human. Different strain of ink. EAT was hoping that it would yield different results."

A: "You're sick."

Z: "No. You're wrong. You, her, everyone... You all are the sick ones."

It was at this point I began to realize that he was crazy. But curiosity got the better of me: "What do you mean?"

Z: "You're afraid. You look at EAT and you see a monster. You're so comfortable in your own little lives that you don't realize the potential of the ink. It's different, so you fear it."

A: "Spare me the fake philosophy."

Z: "Fake? No. Why do people have wars? Why do they kill each other? Hurt each other? Because they don't understand each other. They are motivated by their own selfish needs. But if everyone had the same mind, if everyone had the same needs, without a sense of self, then there would be no pain. There would be only contentment."

A: "So you want to become a Camper, because you're too much of a coward to face pain."

Z: "Listen to yourself. So you don't want to jump of a cliff, because you're too much of a coward to face death? That logic is retarded. I've had enough pain in my life, thank you very much. EAT provides a safe way out. We are defined by our minds. The sum total of our knowledge and memories. When EAT takes those into itself, it is essentially taking us into itself. Mr. Frederick, from the diary, understood that. His followers understood that. Why can't you?"

I didn't have an answer for him, so he continued: "As it said in the diary, let your blood be blood no more. Consume the ink and become a full Camper. Jester and his boss won't care about you if you become a part f EAT. Replace your tainted blood with pure ink, and you'll be safe."

It made sense. As much as I hated it, as much as what he was saying repulsed me, it made fucking sense. "I'll think about it," I told him.

Zexion smiled. "Understandable. People always have a hard time when their introduced to new perspectives. [Roxas] gave me a bottle of ink. I'd be happy to share it with you."

I nodded. "Like I said, I'll think about it."

And then I walked away.


Haven't seen Roxas since last night. I don't know if that thing in his body is preparing for something, or if I've been deemed a lost cause or what. And I don't really want to know.

All the people I've ever known in my life... I wonder how many of them were really human? How many of them were just observing me? Watching my every move, determining the effects of my blood? How many of my friends were really my friends?

Zexion called me. He wants to meet with me to discuss something. Says it's important.

I don't know if I should go. I don't know if he wants to help me, or destroy me, or use me or... whatever.

I don't know anything.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Her stomach cut open. Her legs apart.

The blood. Jester's goal of killing us. The hybrids.


He arranged her body to evoke the imagery of childbirth.

Oh God.

I'm sitting in my dorm. Roxas is right across from me. He's watching me.

There isn't even a shred of emotion on his face.

Monday, March 26, 2012

It's been a terrible week.

I broke up with Marl. She doesn't understand, but what am I supposed to tell her? That some psychopath might kill her just to fuck with me, because my great-grandmother happened to be a non-human thing?

I keep looking over my shoulder, expecting to see him, you know? But I haven't seen or heard from Jester at all. It's like he just disappeared. I don't like it. He's either planning or waiting for something.

And word travels fast. It seems like everyone on this fucking campus knows that I found the body of "that murdered girl." They all keep looking at me. I can't stand it. The pity.

Zexion seems to be over every day. He keeps stealing glances at me. Is it crazy to say that I think he knows?

But my thoughts just keep going back to Shelby. The way he killed her. I feel like there was a message there. Why else would he have... done it like that?

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Alright. I think I'm beginning to believe you guys.

I just got back from the police station.

Earlier today I received a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. I answered it, and there was a voice on the other end of the line, and the voice was... it was like he was trying to hold back a fit of giggles. I could almost hear laughter on the edge of every word he spoke.

"Johnny" was all he said at first.

I asked who this was, and his reply chilled me to the bone and burned itself into my brain.

"I am the fool who dances in the court of the Wooden Empress. I am calling you from Shelby's dorm."

Shelby. That's Xion's real name.

Needless to say, I panicked. I asked the Jester what the hell he was doing there. Why he was calling me. Why he was doing this.

He was silent for a moment, and then he asked me one question, and his voice trembled as he struggled to hold in the laughter: "What is black and white and red all over?" And he hung up.

Roxas was watching me the whole time, and raised his eyebrow when I looked at him. I told him we needed to get to his girlfriend's dorm, and fast.

We have coed dorms, so we were housed in the same building, though she was a floor above us. We rushed up there as fast as we could, and when I found her dorm room, I froze.

The door was almost closed. The edge of the door rested against the edge of the frame, and all it would take was a slight push to open it up. A lot of people have these dry-erase boards hanging from their doors, and on Xion's someone had written two words: "This room."

I opened the door.

And then I threw up.

Xion-- Shelby -- was lying in the center of the room. She'd been stripped of her clothes and her stomach had been cut open from her groin to her chest. Her blood had been splattered all around the room, along with fucking paint. Black and white paint. He'd painted her skin as well, and she lay there, black and white and red with her legs spread apart, her knees up, her arms set under her back so it seemed like she was propping herself up.

We called the police. I mean, what else could we have done? I spent the next few hours talking to them. I showed them the blog and explained everything and showed them the number on my phone.

And then, just before they let me go, one of the officers got up real close to me. It was like he was trying to be nonchalant while doing it, but his muscles were too tense and his face to set with concentration for it to seem natural.

He put a note in my hand before walking away:

"She won't let us help you."

Monday, March 19, 2012

No, really, fuck you

So I'm guessing that most of you read Jester's comment last page. For those of you who didn't, a brief summary: he claims my family is made up of hybrids, that he killed my sister, and that he's going to kill me soon. What's more, some other people in the comments egged the fucked on.

So, I called the police. I informed them that an obviously mentally unstable individual had threatened to kill me.

Enjoy your felony charges, assholes.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Diary Entry 9

This... no. No fucking way. No! Who the hell wrote this? You think this is funny?


The subject has completed her Ascension, and has begun to progress into full acceptance of the God. I spent most of the day working with her, helping her to relearn the ways of imperfect humans. I admit to feeling a twinge of jealousy. She is becoming one with my God, while I remain sequestered in this body.

The next stage of the experiment shall proceed shortly. I believe I have selected well. The subject's figure, her hips in particular, seem well suited for child bearing. To all the world, it shall seem that we have eloped. We shall have to evade her old family, and to that end, I have made arrangements for us to flee to America, and selected a new name for us: "Marlowe."

My God has chosen me to be the father of a new species, a species of partially-Ascended beings, superior in every way to humans, born close to God. My blood shall mix with the Ichor of God, and we shall see if those spawned by our union are worthy, and then perhaps my God shall allow me to Ascend.

Is this some kind of fucking joke? I just... no. No, I refuse to accept this. This is insane. There's no way this can be real.

Can it?

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Diary Entry 8

Roxas and Xion are fighting again, and this time... it doesn't look good. I'm not sure what the fight is about, but Xion seems really, REALLY upset. Like I can't remember ever seeing her this upset. I'm really worried about her.

You know what else worries me? This (that was an awful segue. I'm sorry).

The last two entries in the diary weren't written by Miranda. They're pages from someone else's journal, inserted into the diary for some reason. From the look of things, I think "Mr. Frederick" was the author. And... this is impossible, right? No way this shit is real. I admit, I'm having doubts, but who wouldn't under these circumstances? But it doesn't make sense. There is no fucking way this can be real.


 I continue to perform the tasks assigned to me by my God. With just the right combination, it seems that I am able to synthesize an elixir that causes the obsessions of the Ichor, but lacks a large enough dose to bring about full conversion. I am not sure why my God is so interested in partial Ascensions, but it is not my place to question. I only serve God's will.

Today, a vessel of my God brought me another possible candidate- a young woman named Miranda, the vessel's cousin. I thank my God for allowing me a choice in the subject of this experiment, and I am grateful that he has brought me such a suitable candidate. Yes, Miranda is perfect. We shall begin to make preparations for her Ascension immediately.

On some level, it saddens me that I have not been chosen to Ascend, that my blood shall remain that of a human's, but my God has given me an important task, one which cannot be achieved by a vessel. I shall complete this task, and then perhaps I shall be rewarded by becoming one with my God.

In the meantime, however, I must test my new elixir. Some members of the order have already volunteered. Hopefully, it shall succeed this time.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

And I'm Back

Yeah. Spent most of Spring Break with my mom. She's been pretty lonely. I think having me around really helped her. I'm worried about her though.

Got back to college on Sunday, then on Monday I had a test. Who gives a test the day after Spring Break?

Anyway, there's like two more entries in that diary. I'll get around to posting them soon.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Diary Entry 7

OK, let's get 2 things out of the way first:

1. Don't expect to hear from me for the next week. It's Spring break and I'm going home to be with my mom. Both her husband and her daughter have killed themselves in the past five years, and she needs someone to support her.

2. This diary entry... I already know what some of you people are going to say, and NO. This is just a coincidence. Miranda had a weird dream that just happens to bare a similarity to that Eat thing. Know how I know that? BECAUSE "EAT" ISN'T REAL!

June 14, 1891

I had the most horrible dream last night.

I dreamed that I was in a big dark cave beneath the manor, and there were all these people in gray and blue robes holding candles, and they were gathered around a pool in the center of the chamber.

There was a smaller group of people, not wearing the robes, who stood together, just on the edge of the pool. My uncle and Bethany were both there. They had no facial expressions, simply appearing as blank slates.

One of the robed men was holding a young girl. She could not have been more than fourteen, and she looked both happy and terrified. It was the strangest expression. The man lowered his hood and I saw that he was Mr. Frederick! He looked over the crowd of people gathered, and he smiled when he saw me. I tried to keep myself from fidgeting under his gaze. I just wanted out of this cave. This cold wet cave where nothing grew. I wanted to be back in the garden with the flowers.

And then Mr. Frederick spoke, and his words seemed to embed themselves into my mind:

"My brothers and sisters! We are gathered here today to witness an Ascension! This young girl shall feel the embrace of the water god! She shall become part of our god and Ascend into perfection!"

With that, he pushed the girl forward toward the water, and she stood on the very edge of the pool. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if preparing herself.

"Rejoice!" Mr. Frederick then shouted, and he raised his hands up like a vicar delivering a sermon. "The god has chosen you! The god shall become your being and the god shall become your blood!"

And as one, all the robed figures chanted: "Let your blood be blood no more."

The girl nodded, and she raised her foot as if to step into the pool, but she hesitated. I saw doubt suddenly flash across her, and she began to slowly put her foot down.

And then something splashed in the water, and these things, these white strings rose from the depths of the pool. They writhed around in the air like a cat flicking its tail, and they wrapped themselves around the girl and pulled her from the ledge, into the water below.

For a moment, there was frantic splashing as she tried to escape the things, but they pulled her deeper and deeper into the water. Soon, the pool became calm and still, as if nothing had ever disturbed it.

And then I saw the girl's body float to the surface.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. But something held me back. Some strange and dark and terrible fascination rose in me, and I stood my ground, and I watched.

The body floated toward the edge of the pool, and I wondered if perhaps those strings were directing it. Mr. Frederick bent down and reached out to the girl, and pulled her from the water. He held her in his arms and spoke softly: "Congratulations. On this night, you have Ascended."

There was silence for a moment, and then I heard the girl speak. "Congratulations. On this night you have Ascended."

Two other robed figures stepped forward and took the girl, carried her away from the pool into the darkness beyond. All the while, she continued speaking. "Congratulations. Ascended you. This night one. You have one congratulations."

The crowd began to dissipate, and Mr. Frederick approached me. He looked up and down my body, and I realized with a start that I was in my nightclothes. I tried to cover myself, but he had already turned and had begun walking away. "Enjoy yourself, my dear," he called back to me. "You shall soon join our god."

Friday, March 2, 2012

Diary Entry 6

I'm feeling much better today; sorry if I worried anyone. Episodes like that aren't exactly a new thing for me. They come and go occasionally. Runs in the family.

Anyway, here's the next entry in Miranda's diary:

June 13, 1891

What a wonderful day! It was bright and sunny and I so enjoyed myself! I spent the whole day in my uncle's garden, enjoying all the plants and flowers and it was so wonderful and beautiful!

He has such a collection of magnificent flora! And it is all arranged in such a beautiful manner, stunning in how wondrous it is! I was so taken in by how wonderful a garden my uncle has that I didn't even mind Mr. Frederick accompanying me. I barely even noticed him at all!

Oh, what I wouldn't give to stay here in this garden the rest of my life!

...And the next 50 or so pages are all drawings of flowers. Yeah, this diary is fucking weird. It's like she just suddenly became obsessed with these plants.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Hate it when this happens

Didn't go to any classes because my head hurt too much, and I was completely scatter-brained. Kept thinking about the most random shit and then my head would start throbbing and I kept getting a weird sense of deja vu. I looked ahead in Miranda's Diary and... well, it gets fucking weird in the next entry, and least what I could concentrate on, anyway. My mind kept blanking out or acting like I remembered walking around a garden.

Oh, God, my head's starting to hurt again. I'll post the next entry when I feel better.